do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
she’s his lobster!!!!
*goes to a party and awkwardly follows freind around the entire time*
Starring Chester See, Andrew Garcia, Andy Lange, Josh Golden, Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart, & Mamrie Hart
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I wonder how many Pride and Prejudice fans are on tumblr. Reblog this if you love these idiots
You forgot one
queer authors: make all your characters queer. every single one of them. leave no room for alternate cishet interpretations. make straight people uncomfortable. let them cry about how unrealistic it is that no one is cishet. bottle their tears and pour them over your morning pancakes. savor the taste of their discomfort.
Do you ever start watching an episode on your laptop
and then randomly pause it
and next you know you’re on tumblr
and suddenly it’s taken you 2 hours to watch a 40 minute episode
"homework" *tired zombie noises*
"studying" *sad zombie noises*
"responsibilities" *disgusted zombie noises*
"internet" *happy zombie noises*
The hardest part about a long distance relationship isn’t that you rarely get to see each other or hold each other; it’s when you do finally visit each other and spend day after day soaking in each other and falling asleep in each other’s arms and then waking up a week later to realize that they’re gone and you have to go back to how you were before you knew each other’s every weakness.
Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested